*You Men

You Men 

I was asked for an honest opinion,
and replied without second thought,
about the dress that she was now wearing,
at Debenham's recently bought.

I replied a little too frankly,
about colour, shape and size,
and learned a valuable lesson,
about women and telling lies !





Copyright; David G Robbins
Email: davidrobbins17@hotmail.com 

 

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

That's Not What I Said

That's Not What I Said

That’s not what I said but if that’s what you heard

Then you didn’t hear one single word
We’re so far apart, something is missing
It makes it hard when no one is listening
I say black, you say white
I say day, you say night
We don’t talk anymore without keeping score
I say I need time, all you hear is goodbye in your head
If that’s what you heard
That’s not what I said
Not long ago, there was a time
We were so close that you read my mind
Now things that we say end up being hurtful
Lately it seems we go ¡®round in circles
I say black, you say white
I say day, you say night
We don’t talk anymore without keeping score
I say I need time, all you hear is goodbye in your head
If that’s what you heard
That’s not what I said
Let’s lay down our gloves, pay attention to love
It doesn’t matter who’s right
Or who’s wrong
If we don’t change baby it just keeps going on and on
I say black, you say white
I say day, you say night
We don’t talk anymore without keeping score
I say I need time, all you hear i

***************************************

  Anita Cochran/Victoria Shaw

* Words From Husband To Wife

I am enamored by your beauty
by the way you're tanned of color.

I just sit awe fully astonished
as you cast light into the night.

I wonder if obscurity has attached upon my vision
because your body is untouched of a blemish.

I have trouble possessing time
all day is not enough with you.

I stand and cast my ears to listen
as your vocals are that of a bird.

I stand back and survey you sitting
admiring your steadfast posture.

I am amazed at (slight pause)

Oh good morning honey!

I was just thinking about my car. 




Copyright; Lance Gordon
Email: ameriplanprovider@yahoo.com
Web Site: http://poetrypoem.com/cgi-bin/index.pl?sitename=mypoetry36&item=home

Girls Like Fast Cars, By:Anita Cochran

Girls Like Fast Cars

It started at an early age, I guess around 13,
I’d hear those engines on the street and my how they would scream.
They’d pull into the driveway and I would run and hide,
I’d overhear my brothers friends, they’d talk about their rides.
Now momma always told me, don’t hang around those boys;
They’ll get you into trouble with the cars that make the noise,
But I had this deep desire, that momma never knew.
Girls like fast cars too.

Girls like fast cars, fast cars too.
But they like them sweet small and petite with an engine that’ll cruise.
They don’t want to sound like thunder, they want their engines smooth.
Girls like fast cars too.

Drivin’ down the street one night, just the girls and me.
We’ve cruised this town so many times it’s the hottest place to be.
A car pulls up beside us as the redlight turns to green.
He’s revin’ up his engine lord it sounds like a mean machine.
But I took him by surprise with my good old chevrolet,
And when the race was over he didn’t have too much to say.
But by the look that he was wearing, he’d changed his attitude.
Girls like fast cars too.

Girls like fast cars, fast cars too.
But they like them sweet small and petite with an engine that’ll cruise.
They don’t want to sound like thunder, they want their engines smooth.
Girls like fast cars too.

Yeah they do!

The Woman that God created for me, By:Pastor Reginald Levi Walker

his is why I can never doubt the actual existence of my Lord and my God.
One day, after He create every thing on the face of the earth including man.
God put man to sleep and carefully took a piece of one of the resting man’s rib.
God created the man a masterpiece from the work of His loving and divine hand. 


The creation of the woman is the best proof that God really does exist.
She is a gift made just for man and a masterpiece of beauty and grace.
Her elegant magnificence shines like the brilliance of the morning sun.
Who other than God could create a creature with such a beautiful face.

Looking into her touching and lovely eyes, the man could only declare,
To God be the glory for the astounding beauty that I am blessed to see.
The only credible proof I will ever need that God does indeed exist.
Is the outstanding beauty of the woman that my God created for me.

***************************************************************

Copyright 2008
Pastor Reginald Levi Walker

I Am Just A Normal Guy But.... A funny poem by:S. L. (Woody) Meltcher

I Am Just A Normal Guy But
All My Dreams Are Kinky 

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be. 
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
I don't understand it, it's to normal things I'm geared
By day my life is sane, but at night my dreams are weird

I'm just a normal fella who goes off to work each day
I do my job, lunch with my mates, each week collect my pay
But in the night I dread the bed, each night is just the same
Cause all my dreams are kinky, one overnight sick game.

I'm dressed in a G-string tied in a bow
There's a chicken in a garter belt, Oh God no!
Birds fly by and wolf whistle overhead
Don't roll over there's a roo in the bed ...

15 Strippers all in a row
All with bra-straps ready to blow
One pretty lady dancin' in my lap
Don't you touch or you'll get a nasty slap.

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be. 
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
I think one day when I was small, Ma dropped me in the sink
By day I'm just a normal sod, by all my dreams are kinked

I'd like to have a girlfriend, but it just never does work out
We get on fine until they find what my night dreams are about
Then they drop me like a stone, they say they can't compete
With nude three-breasted women with vibrators on their feet

Hippos in tutus, hot oil & cream
Chains and whips all to make me scream
Lizards & snakes all in strange places
They're gettin' it on & making lewd faces

When dreaming the nightclubs everywhere
Are chock full of animals in underwear
Teddy Bears in teddies, wombats in hot pants
All we need now is a couple thousand ants

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be. 
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
My life could be near perfect, my life could be real fun
If only when I slept the chorus girls weren't dressed like nuns

I went to see a famous shrink, to straighten out my head
I told him if I can't get fixed I might as well be dead
He laid me down & said "tell me of your erotic dreams"
I said "One feather is erotic, not whole chickens soaked in cream!"

There are female wrestlers all covered in jelly
Exotic dancers doing things with their bellies
A cute sexy lady, covered in mud
Whispers in my ear with the voice of Elmer Fudd

There are strong males strippers with bricks in their jocks
With all those square corners they couldn't be socks
This stuff all around me is one kinky dream
Whatever you imagine I'm sure to have a theme

I guess it is my lot to life, can't beat it so I'll join
I suppose that they are only dreams they don't even cost a coin
So if at night you happen to hear me in my sleep
Just think, "that lucky bugger, is dancing naked tending sheep."

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be. 
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
I don't under stand it, it's to normal things I'm geared

By day my life is sane, but at night my dreams are weird

*********************************************************

Copyright; 1998 S. L. (Woody) Meltcher

And God Created Woman, A Lyric By: Patricia Markey

In the garden of Eden walked Adam, 
alone and a trifle forlorn.
For he hadn't a miss or a madam, 
and he whimpered every morn.

"What's the matter with you?" said Jehovah
"I've given you Eden you know,
and now that you've looked the place over,
I thought you'd be rarin' to go."

"That's all very well, " muttered Adam.
"but there isn't a soul except me,
and talking out loud is a tad 'um -
eccentric, don't you see?"

So the Lord God thought for a second.
Then he said, "Okay, just for you,
I'll make up a mate, for I reckon
that will give you something to do."

Now Adam was really excited,
and asked what this mate would do,
and as God explained, he was delighted,
at the promise of somebody new.

For his new mate was planned to get dinner,
and to cook and to sew up his clothes,|
She would make sure he didn't get thinner 
and wash up as well I suppose.

She would bear him some fine sons and daughters,
and never wake him in the night
would take care of the beasts for the slaughter,
and never talk back in a fight.

She would love him with passion unceasing,
and never complain of an ache,
she would iron his shirts, never creasing
the cuffs, as she baked him a cake.

She would be such a model of virtue
that Adam could never complain,
and God said, "She never will hurt you,
or cause you one second of pain."

"Oh God," said our Adam, ecstatic
"what shall I call this wondrous mate, 
and what will she cost, I'm emphatic
I must have the best going rate."

"This woman," said God, "that I bring you
is Eve, the mother of all,
The woman that your kids will cling to,
and the one that will come to your call.

"As for what she will cost, she's a jewel,
and a bargain at this special price,
for to you I couldn't be cruel,
and I know you will heed my advice.

"To you, as my special creation,
I offer you this generous rate -
just an arm and a leg your donation.
You couldn't do better, hey mate?"

Quite taken aback, Adam pondered,
then said with a bit of a grin.
"Well what would I get, I just wondered,
if a rib instead I threw in."

The rest of the tale is just history,
for they closed that deal right away,
so it's why we girls are a mystery
to every bloke even today.

Don't blame it on us, Mister Adam,
when you were the cheapskate in Eden.
For every missus and madam

is still trying today to get even.

***********************************

Copyright; Patricia Markey 
Email: pdmarkey@bigpond.com

google132d7f34c206d573.html.

A Lyric Depicting the Men's Behavior

By: Bobby Braddock

You talk about your feeling
Sometimes I keep mine to myself
But that doesn't mean your foolish
And you know I don't want anybody else
And you can say I love you
Like hello and goodbye.
Well I don't say it very often
But you know I'll love you till the day I die

That's just the difference
Between a woman and a man
Thank god for that difference
When we both understand
A woman and a man

I turn on like a light bulb
You warm up like an iron
And you might take a little longer
But your into it just as strong as I am

That's just the difference
Between a woman and a man
Thank god for that difference
When we both understand
A woman and a man

A woman and a man
A woman and a man